In the more distant future–next fall, to be exact–a tiny liberal arts school awaits me in a small town in eastern Washington. Whitman College has only 1450 students, incredible dorms, devoted professors, and a fantastic endowment. I wasn’t expecting to find a school that called to me like Whitman did, but things seemed to fall into place when I imagined myself going there. Now, all I have to do is figure out where the hell I’m going to get $35k per year.

During the few months since graduating from high school (not to get too personal on you or anything) I’ve been experiencing what some might call an existential crisis. I suppose such a predicament is understandable–even expected–considering the crossroads I have reached in my life. After spending the last 12 years, the better part of my life, absorbed in the social and intellectual wasteland of the public school system, I can identify with the kids that are so baffled by the sudden change that they can imagine nothing else beyond continuing forward to college in the prescribed manner, or worse, unimaginatively falling into apathetic stagnation. I feel the tug and pull of the emotions that lead to both of these situations, hence the crisis, but I feel drawn towards a somewhat different path, one of my own creation.

My fear of the aforementioned stagnation drives me towards steady progress, but the tantalizing excitement of the unknown promotes my desire to stumble wide-eyed into my unplanned, unwritten future. The latter tends to worry my parents, and their concern, as well as the pressures of money and social responsibility, sometimes lead me to question if my motives are born of a pretentious self-indulgence or merely a healthy self-interest. I suppose everything is what you make it, and any way I slice it, only a conscious balance of recklessness and caution will lead me in the right direction.

On this life-long journey, I recognize that there is no real destination, but only the people and things we find along the way. You are my leaders, my teachers, my brothers, and my sisters. I love all of you, more than you could know.